Since childhood my identity has been caught in dreams. That all changed on October 4th.
Starting when I was a young child my head has been filled with dreams. More than one elementary teacher complained to my parents that I was constantly looking out the window lost in another daydream. Some dreams were mundane. Others were exciting and huge. In Jr. High there was the go-cart I was going to build out of scrap metal. In High School I dreamed of publishing books as a writer and photographer. During college I dreamed of saving the world as a paramedic, developing an abstinence program for Elementary and Jr. High kids (this one is still kicking around), and traveling the continent in a huge motor home training church volunteers to effectively lead marriage and family ministries. Since marrying 18 years ago, much of my dreaming revolved around creating ministries for couples and families.
These were all exciting dreams (at least to me) that kept me awake at night planning out how I would accomplish them. In my head, I mapped out detailed strategies of what they would look like. For most of them, I started writing out a project plan or overview on paper. Many of them I shared with my wife, Kim. Some of them I told to a supportive friend or two. A few of them I pitched to a pastor.
Even my name has identified me as a dreamer. When you put my first and middle initial together with my last name, they spell “dreames.” (OK, so there is an extra “e” a the end, but hey! I’m dyslexic so I don’t notice. These blogs are only readable because I’m married to my walking spell-check.)
Throughout much of the past decade, however, I gave up dreaming. After a series of dreams died that I had not only mapped out in my mind, but had also started to transform into reality, dreaming became to painful. First, in Seattle I put together a team of volunteers and we started developing a Marriage Mentoring Network at our church. But in he midst of that, God moved me back to Alaska and the team fell apart. Later Love INC collapsed and killed the Mentoring Program that I was developing.
After the Love INC collapse, dreaming became to painful so I stopped. I largely gave up on my relationship with Christ, also. When I spent time reading scripture, praying, and journaling, inevitably God would awaken the dreamer part of me. My desire to see couples and families living passionate, intimate, committed relationships would grow into a new dream for build healthy marriages. This quickening would last a day or maybe a week, and then I would shut it down because I saw no way of making it become reality. It became easier to avoid God all together and avoid having my heart stirred.
“Up Until Now”, my big dreams had not become reality. Like I mentioned, several grew to include a team of volunteers or staff. But they didn’t make it past the development stage. I had started to believe the lie, that all I was good at was dreaming up ideas but was incapable of moving a dream into reality.
In 6th grade, Mr. Kelly wrote a quote on the board that we had to copy into our journal. “It may be that those who do most, dream most.” For 25 years I held onto that quote as proof that I was going to leave a positive mark on the world around me. During my dark age, I gave up on it and the notion that I would ever do anything of significance. I was awakened and dreaming again after Leadership Awakening, however, I continued to believe that I was incapable to doing a dream.
Then on October 4th my identity changed. I became a do-er as well as a dreamer. Along with Mr. Black and EmpowerU International, I launched Like it Matters Radio, an internet-based radio show with an audience covering five time zones.
So, how do I explain the significance of Like it Matters Radio to me? It’s a symbol. It represents change, truth, freedom, risk, and success.
It means that I am No Longer Only a Dreamer.